I'm not sure I can work with Zen Buddha any more. Yes, I think that she is trying to kill me, but besides that I can't handle her boyfriend calling her every five minutes from the parking lot. Oh yeah, Fat Moe is still sleeping in Zen Buddha's car in the Tim Hortons' parking lot even though he apparently got a job working the late shift at Taco Bell.
"I am really aggravated and I don't know why," Zen Buddha said to me last night.
"Well, it might because your boyfriend calls every five minutes and you yell at him every time," I said, which seemed logical to me. "Maybe you shouldn't answer next time."
She discounted my answer immediately.
I understand that people have problems - I make weird, unnecessary noises when I speak and I can't seem to quit smoking - but answering the phone just to say, "No! Why do you keep asking me that? No! I said, 'No!' Bye!" every couple of minutes seems like an avoidable problem to me.
The other thing that scares me about working with Zen Buddha is that she is diabetic and she only eats breakfast sandwiches and drinks bottled water all night. I don't think that there is too much sugar in either one of those items, but I am only a doctor of donuts. The only thing that I prescribe are sprinkles and custard filling. Still, I don't think that the Zen Buddha is eating right for a diabetic and I don't want to be the one that has to inject her with insulin.
I just know that her family will sue the Tim Hortons pants - with no pockets - right off me if I don't inject it properly. I need to change my schedule, so that I'm not working with Zen Buddha. I need to change my schedule.