Sunday, November 4, 2007


While I was going about my business last night I noticed that some of the items in the front of the store had been labeled. The microwave was labeled, "microwave." The hot water dispenser was labeled, "hot water." And both the cream and sugar dispensers were both respectively labeled, "sugar," and "cream."

Somehow, in the midst of my exhaustion and confusion and boredom, I came up with a plan to explain to The Sensible Skinhead how/why the rest of the items in the store needed to be labeled.

"Place where I sat down and did nothing for two hours, that should be labeled," I said. "Dirty dishes, those should be labeled. Poop stain in the bathroom. How are we going to know about that if it isn't labeled?"

"Maybe," said The Sensible Skinhead, "we should have been more focused on the labeling and less so on the cleaning, stocking and baking."

"I think you are right," I said. "Next time we shouldn't make the donuts, just label the spot where the fresh donuts should be. Mundane Manager would be proud."

"Right," said TSS. "And what about all the buttons on the register? Those should be labeled. Button. Button. Button. Button. Button."

"We really need some more sticky notes around here," I mentioned. "Medium Cup. Medium Cup. Medium Cup. Medium Cup. We have a ton of those and they should be labeled."

"Every cup has a lid, too, you know."

"And a sleeve," I said. "How have we made it this far without more stickies?"

"How do I even know that you are who you say you are?"

"Give me the sharpie," I announced. "I'll write, 'you' on your forehead and 'me' on mine."


2tall said...

that reminds me of the time my roommate in SF started labeling her food, so I wouldn't eat it while coming home drunk. my response was to label all my stuff, so I would know what's mine. every banana, every ramen packet, every apricot, faced forward in/on the fridge. Still, I think labeling you 'you' is even more classic.

Katrina said...

lmfao thats awesome! i think i will do that tonight to spice up my monotonous night of stale carb selling