For this momentous blog - Blog #50, what!, what! party at Doctor Donut's tonight, bitches! - I would like to step outside of my experiences at Tim Hortons and write, an aside if you will, about some of the trials and tribulations that have come about due to the blog.
One of the difficulties about this blog is it costs a lot of money. I have to have at least ten brewskies in my system before I sit down to the keyboard to write. By the time I have finished the blog, I am usually pretty blasted and all my brewskies are gone, so I have to make another trip to the corner store for more brewskies, then my broskies come over and drink all my brewskies and I have to buy more brewskies because my broskies don't have jobs. It's a pretty fun cycle, but costly.
Also, I smoke at least a pack while writing, which isn't free either. Really, how can one write without smokes? Maybe all those chump authors on the Oprah book club don't smoke while they write, but they can all suck my exclamation point! - Blog #50, what!, what! I'm getting a keg tonight, bitches!
And the costs don't end with brewskies and smokes. When you're on the good ol' Internet and you're pretty hammered, your mind tends to wonder toward the dirtier things in life. I won't go into detail about some of the questionable Web sites that I have given my credit card number to - I may have a few younger readers out there - but I'll tell you what: $14.99 here, $29.99 there, $69.69 (deluxe membership) somewhere might not seem bad at first, but that is a monthly fee, people. Those bills really add up, especially when you're working at Tim Hortons and buying brewskies for your broskies all the time.
But don't you worry your little head about Doctor Donut. I'm in too good of a mood. I don't work tonight and I e-mailed one of the fine ladies on a Web site, which I have been a member with for six solid months, to be here for the Blog #50 par-tay tonight, what!, what! If you ain't got a car you best start walking, or riding your Huffy to Doctor Donut's now!