It felt like there was a mini roller coaster in my stomach and all of the mini people on the ride were throwing up, constantly. Due to the festivities going on in my stomach I was forced to use the bathroom quite a few times the other night when I worked. This posed a problem. To wear the headset? Or not to wear the headset? while on the toilet.
The first few times I decided not to because Zen Buddha could handle the orders if anyone pulled through, which she did, and everything seemed copacetic. Around 2 a.m. Zen Buddha had to start her bake, which meant that she had to go into the freezer to grab all the donuts. Well, our headsets don't work in the freezer.
The next time I had to go to the bathroom I wore my headset. I sat there praying to the donut gods that no one would pull up. Please. Please, don't order now. It didn't work. The donut gods somehow knew that I'm an atheist.
Beep. Someone was in the drive-thru line ready to order. I sat there, frozen.
"Thank you for choosing Tim Hortons. Can you hold on for a second?" I said, sounding like a middle school boy hitting puberty.
The customer agreed to wait. I frantically tried to contact Zen Buddha through my headset. No answer. She must be in the freezer. Damn it. I set my headset on the toilet paper dispenser. I tried to forget about the customer and focus on finishing up my business. It was difficult. I could still faintly hear, "Hello, hello, is anyone there? You guys are open, right?" Damn it. My life really sucks.
Finally, I was wiped and washed. I picked up my headset and to my relief the Zen Buddha was taking the dude's order. She finished and I thanked her for taking the order through my headset as I walked toward the front.
"What the shit?" she replied. "I can't do everything around here. You need to make this order because I have to get going on the bake. Damn."
I made the order. It was a cop that had ordered, so I didn't feel bad about making him wait.