monkey do

During our morning rush a lady laid in on her horn. She had four cars in front of her in the drive-through. This caused the friendly songbirds to shit on the store and fly away. Mama-kitty hid in a cardboard box pawing at her ears. Even the raccoon left to find scraps at McDonalds.

I couldn't let one crazy customer drive away the everyday wildlife. I decided to move as slow as possible. I had to listen to a few more honks, but she wanted me to hustle and I wanted to do annoy her as much as she was pissing me off. I figured I could endure one morning of honks to keep the birds coming back with their sweet tunes.

When the lady finally got up to the window I kicked the passive aggressiveness into high gear. She held out her money. I held out a single finger.

"Hold on a sec, I haven't finished ringing you up yet," I said and shut the window.

I took her money. Closed the window again and individually dropped each coin, from a considerable height, into the register. Since she paid me in coins for her coffee, the coin dropping took some time.

When I reemerged with her coffee she seemed confused. Somehow, she mistook her coffee for a banana because she started reaching for it like a monkey. I made sure to tell her to, "have a perfect day and drive careful out there because there's some real crazies out there on the road," before I handed over the coffee.