After the strippers, who came to visit The Sensible Skinhead, left the other night, The Sensible Skinhead asked me which one that I thought was the hottest.
"Why? Are you dating one of them?" I asked.
"I'm not dating any of them, but I'm kind of seeing two of them, haha, if you know what I mean?"
"Classy," I said. I silently hoped that STDs couldn't be passed through coffee, donuts, or muffins. My sixth-grade Phys. Ed told me otherwise, but my teachers also lied to me a lot like, for example, when they told me that Ernest Hemingway and Charles Dickens wrote interesting prose. "I guess they were all pretty hot."
"Well, do you remember the one with the big tits and the tight sweater? Yeah, you do," The Sensible Skinhead replied to his own question. "She showed me her new cell phone, flipped it open and there was a photo of her butt-ass-naked."
"Whatever happened to good ol' fashion Polaroids? It's all about the cell phone these days," I said.
"You should have stayed out here, man, all of those girls are really sweet, especially the one in the sweater. She's a real darling and super friendly," said The Sensible Skinhead, who seemed to take on the persona of a chivalrous knight defending his lady's honor. It was kind of noble, then he told me: "She would have let you grab her tits. They feel real, too."