A tyrannous woman pulled up to the drive-thru at 5:10 a.m. explaining that she wanted donuts, a lot of them. Ok. How many?
"I want six dozen," she declared, straight-faced. I told her that she needed to come inside. This sort of transaction doesn't happen in the drive-thru. Plus, I needed to try and talk her down. We only make 80 donuts for the morning - if you did the math, twelve dozen donuts equates to 72 donuts, leaving us with eight donuts. Eight donuts at Tim Hortons! That's like Pres. Bush pronouncing all his words correctly. No. Doesn't work like that. That's just not reality.
So, this despotic woman lumbered into the lobby and barked "just mix up the donuts in each box." I made up the first box and she wasn't happy. From here on out she decided to choose the donuts one-by-one - great. As she was hand-picking donuts for the third box another customer walked in. It was a regular customer, who always orders a large coffee with light cream. I politely asked the domineering woman if the regular customer could go in front of her.
"No!" she yelled. "I haven't finished ordering."
The regular was forced to wait and eventually walked out. We started in on the forth dozen and I had to say something. I knew that she didn't care about totally wiping us out of donuts, so I had to hit her where it was going to hurt her.
"Wow, we are really running low on the chocolate and cream-filled donuts," I said. This startled her. While she was still in a state of shock, I told her: "We still have plenty of Timbits that are chocolate and cream-filled."
After some rigorous debate I talked her into four dozen donuts and 60 Timbits. It took me about 20 minutes to finally load up this monster order for the lordly lady. I looked over my shoulder and the Zen Buddha was freaking out because the drive-thru line was in a state of an emergency. I had to get this tyrant out of the store and on her way, but she wasn't going to leave without totally pissing me off.
She wanted bags for all the donut and Timbit boxes. The bags that we have are really hard to fit over the dozen boxes, so this took some time. Finally, it was time for her to pay. What does she hand me with a smirk on her face? A hundred. Now, I have to go over to the other register to make change. Secretly, I hoped that she'd trip and land on the donuts, smashing them all, so that I could tell her that she doesn't get a refund. I didn't see her trip, but it still could have happened.
After I got rid of her, I turned to see chaos. The Zen Buddha was running around trying to fill orders for the insane amount of people backed up in the drive-thru. What was worse? We were out of coffee. No coffee at Tim Hortons! That's like Pres. Bush telling the truth. No. Doesn't work like that. That's just not reality.