Monday, January 7, 2008

the zipper from hell

In the bitter cold I strapped on my new coat and set out to dispose of the trash - six bags full and 15 folded up boxes. As I was taking out the first load I noticed that the zipper on my coat had gravitated upward, leaving an unzipped area at the bottom - not good. When I tried to force the zipper back down it was stuck. Again, and again, and again I tried to set the zipper right in the bitter cold, no use.

Eureka! I got the bright idea to pull the zipper all up, even though it wasn't catching properly. So now, the zipper was all the way up and my coat was fully unzipped. I figured the zipper would unhinge at the top. I was wrong. It was even more stuck. I yanked, pulled, adjusted, re-adjusted, no use. My fingers were popsicles. My demeanor was low.

I now realized that my head wasn't going to fit through the hole. To make matters worse I was still wearing my headset, which was now lodged in my coat's head hole. I began to panic. I starting flanging around in the parking lot trying to get my coat off. Finally, I riped the headset loose and threw it to the ground. Next came my Tim Horton's visor and my hair net, but still my coat was stuck.

Slowly, I began to stretch the coat opening over my head, but as it started to go over my head it was riping strains of my hair out of my head. I hated everything at this point. I got the coat off. I was super stressed. I took a half an hour break. I didn't speak and I made Zen Buddha take all the orders.


Margaret said...

This sounds pretty awful. But, on a brighter note, I love the photo. Very caveman. I wouldn't mess around ordering from you, you might hit me in the head with a stump.

Katrina said...

ahahaha omg that is hilarious! i love all of your blogs. they crack me up. especially since very similar situations happen on the midnight shift at my work.