canadian soldier

While working at the Springfield store, I had this guy order a large coffee. When I handed it to him he shouted out, "Wow, that cup is enormous." Apparently, he was Canadian. In Canada their large cup is equivalent to a U.S. medium. Americans have an arrogantly large cup size compared to Canadians - I will let you tackle that.

So, instead of just taking the enormously large U.S. cup he poured what I gave him into one of the many Canadian cups he already had in his car and gave me back the difference. "I don't like your president and I don't need your extra coffee," he seemed to be saying to me with all his pouring.

In the midst of his madcap pouring, I noticed that he was wearing AC/DC pants - not tight black jeans, but MC Hammer pants with AC/DC logos littered up and down. I began to scan the rest of his messy Toyota to see what other oddities I could discover about this alien from Planet Canada. He had army fatigues thrown about, duffel bags, plastic boxes and all kinds of Tim Hortons' merchandise.

I was completely unable to judge this dude. He continued to struggle to fit a large U.S. lid onto his tiny Canadian cup. I offered him a U.S. medium lid; he declined my offering.

"This is how we do it in the oil fields of Afghanistan," he said while grabbing a pre-used Canadian lid off his dash. "We've got a Tim Hortons in Afghanistan. That's the only way the Canadians would go."

"So, if they built a Tim Hortons in Iraq," I said, "then the Canadians would fight there."

"Somebodies got to kill those assholes," said the Canadian soldier and then drove off into the night.

"Oh."